Hi, everyone, hiiiiiiii! The last two things I wrote were BUMMERS, sorry, but I am feeling okay! But I am also feeling like I don't want to write. A lot of stuff happened, though! I turned sixty-three years old, I went to a Young Statues show and was hugged approximately four thousand times, I graduated from college next to a boy I'd never met during my four and a half years there and now we are best friends, a cunty waitress stole $2 from me, I ate lots and lots of food, like, way too much food, please help me out of bed, I am so full, and I saw Frances Ha! I already wrote a thing about even the TRAILER (Bummer Post #1, it was!), so I won't write another thing about the whole MOVIE, but it was perfect and I relate and what am I doing with my life, still, you guys? Guys?????????????????????????????? Guys!
the top, left photo is from Joe's Instagram and the middle, right photo is from Ashley's!
Wednesday is my twenty-ninth birthday and I kind of plan on spending it alone? I've been told that last week's post was a bummer, and maybe the opening of this one sounds like a bummer as well, but I like being alone and whatever! For years, I would throw myself weekend- or month-long birthday celebrations, but I never actually gave a hell. Aging is scary, and with all of the death my family has been experiencing lately (and the very little anything happening in my dumb life), my birthday this year feels a little bit :/ But I'm happy to have my special day with my special self and the special things I have planned for special me, so.
Today is Monday and it's 8:38pm. I watched the above video a few times and have been reading this interview with its writers and director and star, and then my roommate began piping through my cracked-open bedroom door with his singing and guitaring and feelings crept in along with the songs. There's a bit of dialogue in Frances Ha shown in the trailer where a man asks Greta Gerwig's character what she does and she remarks how difficult it is to explain what it is that she does (for a living, they mean) because she doesn't do it and just that small five seconds of something has ruined my whole month. I can't stop thinking about that answer. SUMMED UP: "What do you do for a living?" "I don't." What a fucking answer.
My grandpop died two Fridays ago, hours before my first, like, ~date-from-the-Internet~. Both things were weird and both things had an air of unexpectedness about them and both things have left me feeling like a butt. I don't know why my grandpop never cared to know me before, or why Internet Boy was interested and then vague and then nothing and then a 4am text about baseball and then nothing again, or why someone would tease at the prospect of kissing for months only to easily kiss+ someone I confided in about that (or why that person would do that either), or why my mother never ever ever ever visits me. I don't know what it is about me that urges others to ignore me or trick me, or how I can fix whatever it is that makes me easily hurt.
Anyway, I need to shut up and start writing. I spend too much time turning off Facebook event notifications.
Whatever, HATERS. For some reason, no one on earth feels indeterminate about Zooey Deschanel. We either love her so much and want her hair and clothes on our heads and bodies, or we wish her harm in some way. I'm in the former category, but I can appreciate opposite positions or whatever. But whatever! I like her hair and her clothes and her band is just a very nice thing for me, personally. There was a week back in whenever year that I saw Elf three times in theatres. Because I was still a happy person back then, and also because I love Christmas a lot and I became enamored with this blonde, kind of miserable girl (I'm talking about Zooey's character, you guys). So, then I found all of the movies Zooey had ever been in and bought them from the Internet (back when I BOUGHT things from the Internet like some kind of DWEEB) and watched (most of) them. And then she suddenly had a band with some hunk I hadn't paid much attention to previously (M. Ward is who I mean) and I was like, "Okay, yes."
Volume 1 was great and Volume 2 was great and Volume 3 seems great so far, too (I'm listening to it as I type these words!). I trekked up to Brooklyn for their Volume 1 tour and stole M. Ward's guitar pick from the floor after the show had finished. I'm sure I still have it in some purse somewhere. Zooey was wearing a pretty white dress and black tights. Volume 2's tour stop was on some waterfront in Philadelphia and I had a faraway view, but I think she was wearing a blue dress. She also had a Fender ukulele, so then I bought one, too. (I tried to finally learn it the other week and broke a string, so, R.I.P. forever probably, jk, I will totally fix it and learn it and it'll be perfect.) I'm too poor to afford a ticket to the somewhat upcoming Volume 3 show :( but I'm sure she'll look pretty and the show will be nice. But anyway, her songwriting reminds me a bit of Neko Case's in that some of the lyrics don't really make a whole lot of sense to me, but I'm sure they make every bit of sense to the lady who wrote them. And they're beautiful words, and sung very well, so I cry anyway. I cry a lot to She & Him. And I want to kiss them.
Volume 3 is streaming on NPR now and will be available to, like, HAVE (legally) on May 14th! (And May 15th is my birthday, just an fyiiiiiiii~)